Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Ideals Over Realities

Do you ever get the feeling that ideals are better than realities? Not in the, duh that's why they're ideal, way but in the sense that even if you achieved the ideal you had in mind, you wouldn't really enjoy it? Not because of something you hadn't forseen really, but because of a pure incompatibility. 

Maybe it's not always that we want what we can't have, but just that we no longer want it when we have it. That is, we never really wanted it, just the idea of it.

Tuesday, January 17, 2017


Every once in a while 
I think back to that conversation we had 
And wish 
I had paid a little more attention 
Maybe saved it 
Because now the words we said 
Fade into time
And nothing seems clear anymore 
I remember I was happy 
And I remember feeling blessed 


There's a reason it's gone 
Isn't there?

Do you really miss these? Do you miss me?

Monday, January 16, 2017

The tattoos I want: 2. We'll see if I even get one.


Are there things I would change about my life given the chance? Sure. Are there things I wish I had done differently? Yes. Are there people I wish I still talked to? Of course. 

Am I stressed about a whole assortment of things? Undoubtedly. 

But I’m happy with my life, where I am, with the people in it. I am.

Saturday, January 14, 2017

I Remember...

You told me I'd get sick of you before you got sick of me. So why don't we talk anymore?

Was I right? Or did you think I got sick of you?


Isn't it interesting how
Takes us so far,
So far from where we start
Isn't it interesting how
Once we get that push
We can keep rolling towards
Keep moving forward
Keep telling ourselves
This is worth it
This is meant to be
This is why we're here
This is what I want
Isn't it interesting how
Keeps us going
When maybe we just
Want to stop
Isn't it interesting how
Brought us here,
Took us so far,
So far from
Where we want to be


On a side note, I figured out how to use the Momentum Chrome extension backgrounds as my desktop background, which is super awesome because these backgrounds are legit and make me happy.

Sunday, January 8, 2017

I'm backkkk

It's good to be back in lab, even if I am super unaccustomed to it, and don't know where anything is, and perpetually tired...

Hello 2017.

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Look Up

Take a breath. A deep one. Now another. What did you want out of life? You're here. Look around you. There's so much beauty, so much worth. But where did that joy go? Throw back a cover, flip open a box. You don't want to become another statistic. You're stronger than that. You have the strength of your ancestors, the determination of your parents, the love of so, so many.

You put in the time. All those years, all that work. And it will keep going, but don't get swept up. There are more worthy things in life than the constant struggle. See the beauty, in the small things, in others, in yourself. See the beauty in yourself.

It will be okay.

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Wash Yaself

I'm so amazingly blessed with being able to perform with a great group of dancers, make new friends, and just have a hype time this weekend. Beyond all, I'm blessed with a group of wonderful friends who, despite really only knowing one another for a few months, is tight-knit and comes to support me at my shows! Feeling absolutely loved today.

Thursday, December 8, 2016

Monday, November 21, 2016

Blood is thicker than water.

You know, somewhere out there, someone legitimately has blood that came from me. I wonder if I've managed to save any lives yet?

Thursday, November 17, 2016

I might be forgiving, but I'm not stupid.

My dignity took a backseat to my fear.

Maybe my loneliness is just a factor of a lacking in my relationship with God. Because I love you all, I really do, but I shouldn't miss you as much and feel as alone as I do. I just want to be better, to better myself in so many ways. But maybe what I really need to do is just let Him better me.

You're not that important. You're incredibly special to me, but it shouldn't matter this much.