Friday, June 16, 2017

Casualties

You know, I always wondered what the chances were of a rusty nail or screw sticking straight up waiting for you to step on it.

Well, it's not zero, let me tell you that.

Thursday, June 15, 2017

I am not obligated to be, not will I be guilted for not being, your friend.

Lessons Learned

When I was five,
I’d learned right and wrong
I saw myself through the eyes of others
On the brink of discovery,
Imagination, aspiration, achievement.
When I was thirteen,
I’d seen how the rich treated the poor
I knew what happened
When you took people for granted.
When I was eighteen,
I’d been murdered three times:
Once by a harsh look,
Once by a harsh word,
And once by someone who couldn’t have cared less.
Now that I’m twenty-two,
Sometimes I wonder,
What happened at twenty-one?
I learned forgiveness in the hardest of times,
The importance of friendship
To care less and to care more
See the beauty amidst ugliness
Hope for the best
Keep life in mind
Don’t let the world bring you down
And maybe some of the lessons I learned in the past
Were foreshadowings of bigger things to come.

Monday, May 29, 2017

22!

Had a pretty amazing birthday/Memorial Day weekend full of fun and productivity! 

- Arcade + sailing + parties + cake with friends 
- Got an AC unit + office chair + bike
- Got my hair cut! It's so short now but it feels like freedom

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Time Flies When You're Struggling to Balance Labwork, Teaching, Classes, Moving...

But no more classes! I already feel like I've got so much more free time haha. In reality, I don't really, but it's the thought that counts?

Have to pack up in the next week or so, that way I've got everything ready to go once I get back from Reunions! (Super excited for Reunions and to see everyone again!)

Summer goals:
- Finally get into a good rhythm/schedule
- Test for my provisional sailing license!
- Learn how to play that ukulele (it's been a long time coming, like 3 years?)
- Get back into bouldering

I feel like I just need to get into a decent rhythm to feel like an actual adult haha. Some modicum of control would be nice, but you know, I'll take what I can get.

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

A Square Peg

It's one of the earliest things you learn,
To not put a square peg into a round hole.
You know that little matching game where
Each peg has its place
But inevitably at some point
You try to force a peg in.
But what happens when all there is is round holes?
Don't be square.
Carpe diem,
They told me.
But what they really wanted was
For me to carpe the diem in
A specific way
A controlled way.
There are no diems for me to carpe
The way I want, only the way you say.
So maybe one day I'll wish
I had said no,
I don't care,
I will cut that round hole until it's square
I will find a different board to play
But I won't let you mold me into what you want
I won't let you dictate how I seize the day
And I won't let you limit my happiness.

Monday, April 24, 2017

And never was there such a difference 
Between what I knew and how I felt
Such a confusion about everything I did
Because I like to think that
I know myself and what I can do
And what I can't
But 
Did I ever think about all of the factors
All of the things to sway me one way or another
That I prayed wouldn't happen
But hoped would
Because it never really was just about me
And at the same time, that's all that mattered
So maybe I didn't know too well
And maybe
That's why it happened.

Friday, March 17, 2017

A Week of Struggle

1) Losing a ring which means so much to me
2) Feeling completely inadequate in lab, and getting the pressure put on by my PI
3) Having someone borrow (but more importantly, break pieces of) my (insanely expensive) model kit that I was given as a gift during my first summer internship

Friday, February 17, 2017

Jhameel ❤

Still ridiculously in awe of the fact that I got to meet and listen to this guy live! Been following his music since 2 1/2 years ago and it's gotten me through quite a few late nights studying.